It would be an understatement to say that the last couple of months have been horrible. There have been so many changes, so many bottled up emotions. I feel like everywhere I may look there is a reminder of my mom. Thoughts of words I never said to hear whisper in my ear. It is amazing what little things trigger my memories of her.
I think the most difficult is driving by the hospital she died in. The other thing that really kills me is the fact that I have to roam the hallways of the hospital that overlooked her diagnosis. The anger grows with each step that I take in this place. It’s amazing to think that she was able to get up and walk away from here, like nothing was wrong. In hindsight I am glad that we were able to bring her home, that she was able to make her grandkids breakfast.
But every moment that I spend in my house, in this hospital and in this town kills me slowly.
We have thought long and hard and we are moving. Not just because of all of these feelings, but because we wanted to before. This is the additional push that we needed to leave.
We are moving to Indianapolis, IN. We are currently looking for a place to stay. We already bought our new car to get us there. We want a house, but an apartment would be ok. I need to be able to bring my furbabies. My cats, my dear cats will hate the 34 hour drive. But its ok, once we get there we will all be happy.
